Heartache for others

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. My heart was aching for someone that I have never met, but love anyway. She and her husband held a newborn in their arms for a week, expecting to adopt her, but then it didn't work out.

The woman's name is Alicia, she lives in Portland with her husband, and she writes a blog that I follow: Posie Gets Cozy. Alicia is a gentle soul who loves people, animals, all things beautiful, and is an artist with her knitting needles, crochet hook, sewing machine and embroidery needle. She is my imaginary "crochet friend" I think, but she doesn't know it. Her style of writing draws me in and makes me feel "cozy". She is warm hearted and lovely. (I have never seen a photo of her, but I know she is lovely anyway.) Sometimes her writing is reflective and sometimes it is funny, but always it is interesting. At least it is to me. The last few weeks we (her readers) have all "waited" with her for the birth of the little girl they thought was going to be part of their family. (They have no other children.) After many days of silence, she finally wrote what happened in her blog.

Now she and her husband are experiencing a crushing sadness and my heart hurts for them. I left a comment on her blog, along with 1448 other people (I just checked), and hope that they will someday be compensated for their pain. I can't help but wonder what kind of life that innocent baby girl will have. I hope it is a good one.

Why am I writing this today? Because I think I need to express my sadness in order to let go of it. Because it is where my heart is today and I can't pretend otherwise yet. I'll be helping serve a meal at a funeral in a few hours for a family who has lost a grandmother a few days ago. As sad as that is, it is also a sweet time because that Grandma is no longer in pain. As I serve today I will be thinking of Alicia and praying that a future joy will come into her life to help ease the pain she is feeling now.